Aunt Carol

Aunt Carol used to make me the best toast. She’d load it up with butter and cover it in sugar. I remember sitting on the living room floor in her Costa Mesa condo savoring each bite. My mom would never make something like this for me, I’d think. I was in grade school. Years previously, as a 3 year old, she had me walking down the aisle as her flower girl and much later, she had me working in her Balboa peninsula gift shop, learning to make the perfect bow and wrap the prettiest brown packages. It was there that she had me feel a lump she found next to her armpit. She was going to get more tests done. That lump became the cancer that took her life today. But there were many years in between that day in The Handmaiden and today when she took her last breath. Aunt Carol was here when I found out I would be having my first baby. She took me out to lunch and shopping all over town for everything “maternity” I would need. She watched Wallace for me while I went to have my hair dyed dark and bangs cut, a postpartum change I felt necessary. Wallace loved Aunt Carol. He loved wearing her wigs. He loved listening to her read to him. She brought such joy and energy to our family when we were all together. I will miss her long hugs and multiple kisses while whispering in my ear how beautiful she thought I was and how proud she is of Rian and I. Aunt Carol knew how to love people, how to be real and vulnerable, how to make someone feel fabulous, and how to have fun. She will be missed by many.